Day 14 - Earlier this year, I decided I’m getting tired of tiptoeing around about my heart for Jesus. Not so much with like-minded people, but with those who know only a portion of me but have decided to wall themselves off from that most important part.
First, I will confess that, when I first realized Jesus could be a friend to me rather than some mystical being that lives no closer than the clouds, I was so excited that I was obnoxious to others who had never seen him that way. I was overbearing, not my usual introverted self, and I guess they didn’t know how to relate with me anymore. I came to see this as, what I call, my Baby Christianitis.
Many people love watching babies discover new things…their toes, Mommy’s earrings, Daddy’s 5 0’clock shadow, Grandpa’s nose. It’s fun to see their eyes widen, or their concentration, or their tiny fingers grasp a bigger finger. These babies are discovering a life the observers already know, and they can watch in delight, or move to protect them from falls, burned fingers, or trying to eat something they shouldn’t.
But what about baby Christians? Some see them as naively venturing into a world unfamiliar to many of their friends, colleagues, and/or families. Scripture says, “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”[1] At this point, I found this statement to be very true. Many were looking at my outside, but few were looking at my inside.
I would say that humans, as a rule, don’t like being judged negatively by others by what they see on your outside. In our day, there is the obvious: race, gender, sexual orientation, politics, where one lives, works, or plays.
My first emotional response to asking the Lord into my heart was the feeling that I was “home”. How many people who knew me at the time ever knew that? How many ever asked? Many people judged me looking through their own tinted glasses. I also looked at others through my own tinted glasses. I wondered why no one ever told me about this before. Why didn’t they let me know about this feeling of closeness we could have with Jesus? Honestly, I was confused, and a bit put off by this perceived gap in my upbringing.
But I was also so happy, that I sang aloud new songs that I had learned to express my joy in this amazing discovery. Now, I don’t have a terrible singing voice, but this apparently irritated those within hearing. There was no real delight in watching me, no smiles at my new concentration, no warmth showing as I grasped a bigger Being with my immature knowledge. You see, I was 21, so I was not a baby on the exterior. In fact, I had recently returned home from living in Haight-Ashbury. I had been on drugs and was still secretly smoking marijuana, I had lied to my parents and had broken their trust, and I was back living with them to go back to jr. college. I finally wanted to make something of my life. So, when I was introduced to Jesus in this new way, I found the hope that I had given up on.
(to be continued)
[1] 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV
First, I will confess that, when I first realized Jesus could be a friend to me rather than some mystical being that lives no closer than the clouds, I was so excited that I was obnoxious to others who had never seen him that way. I was overbearing, not my usual introverted self, and I guess they didn’t know how to relate with me anymore. I came to see this as, what I call, my Baby Christianitis.
Many people love watching babies discover new things…their toes, Mommy’s earrings, Daddy’s 5 0’clock shadow, Grandpa’s nose. It’s fun to see their eyes widen, or their concentration, or their tiny fingers grasp a bigger finger. These babies are discovering a life the observers already know, and they can watch in delight, or move to protect them from falls, burned fingers, or trying to eat something they shouldn’t.
But what about baby Christians? Some see them as naively venturing into a world unfamiliar to many of their friends, colleagues, and/or families. Scripture says, “The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart.”[1] At this point, I found this statement to be very true. Many were looking at my outside, but few were looking at my inside.
I would say that humans, as a rule, don’t like being judged negatively by others by what they see on your outside. In our day, there is the obvious: race, gender, sexual orientation, politics, where one lives, works, or plays.
My first emotional response to asking the Lord into my heart was the feeling that I was “home”. How many people who knew me at the time ever knew that? How many ever asked? Many people judged me looking through their own tinted glasses. I also looked at others through my own tinted glasses. I wondered why no one ever told me about this before. Why didn’t they let me know about this feeling of closeness we could have with Jesus? Honestly, I was confused, and a bit put off by this perceived gap in my upbringing.
But I was also so happy, that I sang aloud new songs that I had learned to express my joy in this amazing discovery. Now, I don’t have a terrible singing voice, but this apparently irritated those within hearing. There was no real delight in watching me, no smiles at my new concentration, no warmth showing as I grasped a bigger Being with my immature knowledge. You see, I was 21, so I was not a baby on the exterior. In fact, I had recently returned home from living in Haight-Ashbury. I had been on drugs and was still secretly smoking marijuana, I had lied to my parents and had broken their trust, and I was back living with them to go back to jr. college. I finally wanted to make something of my life. So, when I was introduced to Jesus in this new way, I found the hope that I had given up on.
(to be continued)
[1] 1 Samuel 16:7 NIV